Nightmare Delle Meraviglie
by yamaguchi-tadashi
Summary: Lovino is not what most consider normal. He's angry all the time, can curse like a sailor, and will only talk to you if he has something mean to say, except when he's reading. But all that changes when he's transported to a complete different world via rabbit hole- and everything turns into a nightmare.
1. Chapter 1

A good day, to our subject, was not an existent thing. It was something that only happened to other people, something to be read from books, something no one and nothing had ever given him. And really, he was fine with that. Going from one hour to the other was a normal, dragging process filled with neutrality and gray clouds, a process that bored him but was the only thing that kept him going. If he didn't get to the next point, who knew where he was? Who knew if he was?

Now, the usual behaviour of the subject in question was slightly down-putting. Nobody could cuss like him, nobody else could think of such effective insults. In fact, people would generally avoid trying, in fear that they would be accused of being too much like our subject. He was the exact opposite of his brother, a happy, bouncy boy who could light up a room just by walking in. The only way our subject could light up a room was if he flipped the switch, and even then, it would seem unusually dim because of the dark aura that surrounded him.

Lovino claimed to be a normal high-schooler, but anyone who knew him closely also knew that to be a lie. He dwelled in fairy tales and fantasy books, but as soon as he emerged into the real world, he would instantly become the depressing teenager of nightmares that everyone knew him to be. Why did he emulate such behaviour? If anyone knew the answer, they never told. Probably because they didn't know and where just lying to themselves the whole time.

Our story starts on a fine Spring day, as Lovino and his brother, Feliciano, walk to the nearby high school that they attend.

"Fratello, what do you think will happen today? The cherries are blossoming, look! Ve~, it's so pretty… hey, look, there's Ludwig!"

The light brunette chattered endlessly, pointing out his many friends one by one, and the many other random things he noticed. Lovino sighed, used to this, but still only grudgingly putting up with it. After another long minute, his brother ran over to his two friends, Ludwig and Kiku, two classmates whom Lovino didn't know very well, and usually tried not to talk to. Just like everyone else at school. He just continued on his way, glaring at the ground and attracting stares, reflecting quite a few with just his surly look.

As soon as he reached the swinging double doors of the entrance, he was met by a gaze to match his own. The principal, staring at him, pinpointing him as a problem child. His long blonde hair swept behind him as he walked past, and his piercing blue eyes were enough to make anyone shiver. Anyone, except Lovino. He was unfazed by the whole thing, as he was with most things, and just went on with his stroll to his classroom with nothing more than a muttering of a certain insult. He couldn't care less about what the principal thought, or what anybody else thought, for that matter. He was just trying to get on with life, the way he had been taught by himself.

The day went by, not fast enough for Lovino's taste, but slow enough for him to grow bored all over again. Lunch was the usual routine, go sit outside by the big maple tree and close his eyes, imagining that he was in one of the fantasy worlds he often read about. He loved those worlds, and got lost in them so completely, he felt as if he knew every single one personally. Real life was just a chore for him, and he knew it was because he wanted to live in one of those worlds.

As he waited for the rest of his classmates to finish lunch, he shut his olive orbs and his breathing became steady as he started to doze off. An image flashed in his mind, part of a far-off dream, of a bright sun, a silhouette of a man interrupting the scene. The man turned his head, and Lovino caught the sight of a bright smile and a tip of a hat, before his eyes opened of their own accord.

He sat up and put a hand up to his forehead. What had that been? He very rarely dreamed… and that had been too light of a doze for him to dream, anyway… he just shook his head and stood, leaning against the tree and watching the last of the students file out of the lunch room. He supposed he had better go back to class with them.

x-x-x

Walking home after school with his brother was tiresome, as always. He always had to drag along one friend or another. This time it was some Asian named Im Yong Soo, who had a curl similar to the two brothers'. Lovino sighed and kept walking, even when Feliciano stopped to wave an energetic goodbye to his friend. He glanced over at the riverbank that they often stopped by after school, wondering if they had time. It was late in the afternoon, and it would get dark soon, it being early spring.

Feliciano payed no attention to the finer details and ran right over to the bank, flopping down and sighing happily. "C'mon, Fratello! The water looks so pretty!"

What about water was pretty? Lovino shook his head and stepped over to where his brother was, sitting down beside him. Almost as soon as he touched the ground, Feli began his loud jabber.

"And you know what she did then? It-a was so funny!... And after that, I was thinking we could go down to the fountain at the center of the park… But you know, not all sandwiches need bread, that's what-a Luddy says… have you-a ever heard of such a thing? Countries into people! I couldn't stop laughing…"

Lovino yawned, tired of the one-sided conversation. Even as the sun set and the color of the water changed from a light teal to a curious shade of orange, his brother continued to chatter and spout useless facts and opinions. Another yawn, longer this time, and significantly louder. Feliciano stopped only for a second to giggle, then went right back to his annoying think-out-loud fest. The elder was just about to settle into a steady siesta for the second time that day, when he heard the thump of a foot right next to his ear.

His eyes flew open, and he sat up, whipping his head around and searching for the source of the noise. Yet all he saw was his brother, who hadn't even noticed his sudden movements, and a small girl with white bunny ears.

Wait- bunny ears? Lovino turned again to the miniature girl, who was adorned in a white silk summer dress, feet bare and hands covered by a pair of white kid gloves. Her ears twitched as she ran away from the river, an odd kind of hop in her step.

"Oh dear, I'll be late! Dreadfully late! I do hope Broer doesn't mind too much… Ah, tomatoes, I wish my legs were longer!"

Lovino was intrigued. She was like a little animal fairy, straight out from one of his books. He stood up and glanced at Feliciano, who was still talking and didn't look like he cared about anything Lovino did. He shrugged and looked for the girl again, spotting her just before she disappeared behind an old, large tree. He ran after her, determined to keep her in sight, but only found a large rabbit hole. He determined she must have jumped down into it, because she was no where else in sight, and unless she could turn invisible or teleport, this was the only answer. He peered down but only saw a puddle of darkness.

What should he do? Go after her, or stay here, in the boring world he lived in? Well, not like he had a choice, because right then, the ground collapsed under him and he went falling down into the rabbit hole.

**A/N: Hey guys~! So, yeah, another Hetalia fic... And Alice in Wonderland themed (Wow, Shoujiko, you're sooo original!) I know, I know... But I hope you like it! Please continue reading, second chapter soon! This will be a SpaMano, by the way.**


	2. Chapter 2

At first, it was as dark as he had first seen, but soon it brightened, and he could see every detail. The walls were dirt, holding cabinets and drawers, some open and spilling their contents everywhere. There seemed to be no sense of gravity to the objects he passed, only to him, and he couldn't stop or even slow his descent. He fell for what felt like hours, watching the time fly by. Literally, there were clocks of all kinds, grandfather clocks, pocket watches, even a digital clock, all just floating past.

Soon enough, he saw a piano, and tried to make a grab at it. It leapt out of his reach and starting playing a strange melody Lovino had never heard before. He shook his head and the music instantly stopped. After another few hours, he could see a light below him. He stared at it, wishing it could come closer so his fall would stop. His wish came true, and he tumbled out, falling sideways and hitting the ground. He glanced at where he had fallen from and saw the hole in the wall rapidly closing.

He took in his surroundings, which weren't much. A checkered pattern on the walls and floor, a giant chandelier hanging in thick air below the ceiling. The only furniture was a small glass table in the middle, containing a bottle of red liquid and a case of cake. Most likely poisoned, Lovino observed, walking closer. He picked up the bottle and stared at it, moving it from side to side, wondering what it could possibly be. It wasn't red, but not very purple… almost like a dark rainbow in a bottle. Maybe it was some kind of weird wine.

Lovino looked up from the bottle to realize that the miniature girl from before was looking at him in disappointment, as if he had done something wrong. Why was she looking at him like that? What had he done?

"Yeah, what the hell do you want?" he asked, underlying snarl obvious. She just shook her head and turned to a tiny door in the wall, pushing through and vanishing once again. Lovino scowled at the spot she had been a second before, then went back to the bottle, flipping open the cork. If he drank it, maybe something interesting would happen. A stupid idea, he knew, but what could happen that he would regret? If he died, fine by him.

He tipped his head back and downed the liquid, surprised by the taste. It tasted of home, and that's the only way he could describe it. Of course, home didn't hold pleasant memories, but it was the closest to safe and content he had ever felt. He closed his eyes to savor the taste, but soon noticed that the deliciousness had disappeared and he was overcome by the sensation of something pushing down gently on his head. Olive eyes opened in a flash, and looked up, only to see the bottom of the glass tabletop escaping quickly from above. A strangled yell flew from his throat as he tried to reach the table, but he continued to shrink. He dropped the bottle and instantly stopped, breathing a sigh of relief, for his boxers were the only thing that even remotely fit him anymore. The brunette growled in frustration and looked up at the glass above his head, cursing some ancient word that no one else had ever heard but he somehow knew. Man, that had been a stupid idea. No regrets, his ass.

He glanced at the tiny door in the wall and realized he was exactly the right size now, but… he had no key. And, considering his luck (or lack thereof), it was probably locked. Damn.

Whipping his head around, he noticed that the bottom of the cake case was see-through, and through it he could see a miniscule key. Had that always been there? Or was this what people called a 'fairy tale coincidence'? He shrugged, not caring, just wanting that key. He started shimmying up the table leg, reaching the glass after a few minutes, then pondering what to do next. Why he was spending so much energy and time on something he probably wouldn't have paid any mind to before, he somehow felt this was important. Something in his mind was tugging him in the direction of that door.

He shook himself from his thoughts and stared at the table, realizing; it was just glass. Freaking hit it and it will break.

So he did.

With all the force he could muster, he hit the glass and felt it crack satisfyingly underneath his knuckles. A smirk found its way onto his face as he hit it again, successfully shattering it. The cake fell to the floor with a splat, and Lovino grinned. That had been easy enough.

He climbed down the single leg and walked over to the cake case, barely bending down to pick up the shining trinket beneath the crumbs and frosting. His eyes narrowed as he studied it, and realized that the key, once separated from the confection, was growing. He ran to the little door and tried to unlock it, getting the key in the hole, but not being able to move it. He cursed once more, fumbling with the handle of the ever- growing metal piece. Finally, he gave up and leaned against the doorframe, sighing in exhaustion and defeat. Imagine his surprise when he felt the door give way against his back.

Jumping up, Lovino stared at the crack in the doorway, leading out to a grassy area, from what he could see. Pushing it open even farther, it led out to a courtyard of sorts, with huge tigerlilies and roses, daisies and even the stray dahlia. The sun was strong and bright, shining in a cloudless sky, with the occasional fluorescent bird flying across. It was like one of Lovino's books, and it would have been beautiful, if not for the eerie feeling that surrounded the garden, and the fact that the birds flying past seemed to be crying out a song that rang with the sounds of death. It made the Italian shiver, and he considered going back and trying to get home, but thinking back on how he got there in the first place, he knew it was impossible to backtrack. The only place to go was forward… or stay here, but that didn't sound too appealing either.

One foot in front of the other, he noticed that he had shrunk out of his shoes, and that he was still holding up his boxers. He had better find something to tie them up with. His feet soon ached, the grass underfoot surprisingly stiff and uncomfortable, as if it was a garden of plastic and glass. Suddenly, one of the flowers drooped down and began talking.

"Hey, you lost or something?"

Lovino jumped and stared at the flower, which was actually a bit taller than he was, and saw a small blonde sitting on the center.

"What? Did you say something, bastard?"

"That's not very nice!" the man pouted, folding his arms. His obnoxious hair was spiked up and was starting to annoy the brunette, although he had really no room to talk. His one hair curl was the cause of many a whisper, and was more noticeable than his brothers. "And my name's Matthias, not Bastard."

"Whatever." Lovino said, rolling his eyes and turning away from the man.

"No, wait! You're lost, right?" Matthias yelled after him, and he turned, glaring at the other.

"So what?"

"Lukas can help you find your way!" he exclaimed proudly, as if this 'Lukas' was some object of worth.

"Shut up, you stupid idiot." another voice said calmly, obviously completely used to uttering those words often. A tigerlily opened its petals to reveal another man, with a small curl held back with a silver clip. He held the petals of yet another flower, containing a younger boy with platinum blond hair and violet eyes, frowning.

"Aw, come on, Lukas!" Matthias said, puppy-dog eyes at the ready. Lukas had a look of pure disgust, but he relented, finally turning to Lovino and acknowledging his presence.

"You wanna see someone? The caterpillar? Come on, I don't have all day."

"Yeah, you do. All we do is sit in these flowers all day." Matthias butted in, smiling, completely oblivious.

"Matthias Køhler, shut up or I will choke you." The completely straight-faced Lukas cracked his knuckles, making the first blonde shiver, and the younger boy shook his head in something resembling annoyance.

Lovino huffed. He didn't care. He started walking again, and heard yet another voice behind him, a softer, kinder voice.

"The caterpillar is on the left! But turn right, or you'll never get there! Take care!"

He didn't even bother to see who this was. Probably another one of the flowers, and Lovi had found that he didn't particularly like talking to flowers.

So he turned right and began his descent into this wonderland.

**A/N: Hey! I hope you liked the second chapter! And I really hope you knew who the flowers were! Anyway, I tried my best, please review... bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

The scent of sweet apple pie was overpowering, and it made Lovino start to question the flower garden. Why was there a smell of pie when this was all green plants? Were one of the flowers baking?

The brunette shook his head, astonished at himself. This crazy place had made him start thinking some weird things, and he didn't like it. Better than being at home and arguing, he thought, continuing on his way. And why had the voice told him to turn right, if this caterpillar person was on the left? Was this place backwards or something? He sighed and shook his head once more, looking around at the forest of plant life surrounding him. Just this morning, he had been walking to school with his perfectly ordinary brother in a perfectly normal world… well, it was far from perfect, but you get the point… and now, here he was, walking on grass made of plastic and talking to flowers with nothing but his underwear on. Ridiculous.

Staring at his feet, he felt like he was missing something, something big, but he couldn't place his finger on what, so he kept walking, the light breeze brushing through his dark brown hair. He soon came to a clearing in the dark green stems and stopped, looking around. In the middle of the clearing was a large blue mushroom, which was dominated by a tall, broad-shouldered man sitting cross-legged, wearing a white and blue scarf and smoking a pipe. Next to the mushroom stood the white rabbit girl, smiling at Lovino and waving, a slight movement of her tiny hands, which were actually about the same size as Lovino's, now that he had shrunk.

"Who are you?" he demanded, glaring at the two of them.

"Depends," the tall guy grunted, "Who are you?"

"I don't have to tell you that." he answered, adding a curse at the end for good measure.

The tall guy raised an eyebrow, a small scar above it moving as well. The white rabbit just shook her head in exasperation and walked up to the Italian, holding out her hand as if to shake his.

"I'm Emma." she said, smiling. "That's my brother, Lars, The Caterpillar."

He nodded, staring warily at the man. There was a look in his eyes that made Lovino think he wanted to kill him violently. Maybe he did.

"I asked… who are you?" Lars repeated, blowing a ring of smoke into the air above him. Lovino wrinkled his nose, disgusted by the smell. The man was pulling out each vowel, giving his speech a slow kind of pattern, and it was starting to annoy Lovino.

"Why do you care, damn caterpillar bastard?" he asked angrily, covering his lower face as the other blew another ring of smoke.

"Not who you think I am." he answered. "Now, who are you?"

"Stop saying that!"

"I will say it until I know who you are."

"I said, stop!"

Emma just watched the exchange in concern, biting her lip and trying to intervene. _I knew this would happen, what with their personalities…_ she thought, checking her watch. Her eyes widened as she realized what time it was, and she turned to hop off. "I'm going to be late! Lovino, you have to hurry!" she cried over her shoulder as she hopped off, her white dress flowing out behind her.

The brunette had no idea what she meant. Why did he have to hurry? He shrugged and looked back at the Caterpillar.

"I'm Lovino. There, happy?" he huffed, narrowing his eyes.

"Not in the slightest." Lars responded, not even bothering to look at the other. "I don't think you know who you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're an idiot."

Still seated upon his mushroom, still smoking that weird pipe, still not even glancing at him. Lovino growled and walked out of the clearing, into the area beyond. Instead of flowers, there were trees, lots of them, and Lovino was only as tall as the roots. He clung to the waistband of his boxers, trying not to let the smallness get to him. The grass eventually became softer as he continued on, and he almost smiled as it tickled the soles of his feet. But he didn't, because smiling was for idiots.

The sky looked darker from his viewpoint underneath the canopy of trees, but he couldn't be sure. If it rained, well, he could take shelter under a leaf or something…

He felt suddenly depressed. Just the fact that he was having thoughts like this meant he was going crazy already. What was he, a fucking fairy?

Maybe, maybe not.

The farther he walked from the mushroom caterpillar guy, the darker it got, and soon, he could barely see his own bare feet. His had rammed into a tree, and upon closer inspection, he realized that it was dead and slightly burnt, as were the other trees that now surrounded him. When had he wandered into this part of the woods? It gave off a creepy atmosphere, one that made the hairs on the back of Lovino's neck stand straight up. Although reluctant, he decided to sleep here for the night because, even though he didn't want to admit it, he was dead tired and needed somewhere to crash. A soft patch of moss did the trick, and he was soon sound asleep, unaware of the creatures roaming the night, staring at him with large yellow eyes and hissing mouths.

Except one creature, whose eyes were bright blue, and whose smile was as clear as the crescent moon.


	4. Chapter 4

Something was poking his cheek relentlessly. Lovino tried to swat it away, but it wouldn't stop. Was it Feli? It was too early in the morning… "Feli… stop…" he groaned, rolling over and hitting his head on a rock.

A rock?

"Hee hee… who's Feli? A lover~?" a voice said, and Lovino sat up rapid-fire and stared at the source. It was a blonde man with wavy hair and light blue eyes, cat ears and… no clothes.

"Wh- what the hell?" Lovino yelled, scrambling backwards and hitting his head again, this time on a low tree branch. He cursed loudly and flipped the stranger off, rubbing the good-sized bump that now inhabited the back of his head, probably having miniature bump babies back there. The man was still staring at him, his wide smile growing even bigger. As he stood, holding out a hand as if to help Lovino up, the brunette realized that he wasn't completely naked- he had a single rose covering… yeah, never mind.

"I'm not even gonna-" he muttered, shaking his head and looking away, face in palm. He stood without the man's help and started to walk away, taking in his surroundings of… oh look! Pretty dead trees! Dry, cracked ground! Man, it sure reminded him fondly of home!

Sense the sarcasm?

Lovino stepped off the mound of dessert-like, dusty ground and brushed off his boxers.

"Honhonhonhonh."

What was that ridiculous noise? He looked around, searching for the strange call he was hearing, until he realized it was coming from the blonde. He seemed to be laughing.

"What the actual fuck."

The cat guy's head perked up. "Fuck? Gladly." He grinned, looking around, almost innocently.

Lovino shook his head, backing away from the strange creature. Whatever he had might be contagious; wouldn't want to catch the weirdness. Standing up, he tried to find any sign of someone, something, besides this tiny stripper who wouldn't leave him alone. He couldn't, besides three dusty dirt trails a few yards away. He sighed bitterly. "Which path do I take? Damn, I hate this God-forsaken wasteland."

"Wonderland." the blonde corrected him, pointing up, then down, then to the left and right using his different hands (Or would it be paws?). "And the answer would depend on where you want to go~" He purred. Actually _purred._ What the hell.

"... civilization." the Italian muttered, answering the cat-man half-heartedly. He nodded, still grinning, and took Lovi's hand, much to Lovi's reluctance and chagrin. He wished this guy had never shown up in front of his face and decided to visually harass him. Honestly, he wished he had never come to this place. It was like one of his books, yes, but come to think of it, the protagonist always had it rough. He was such an idiot, for ever following that little rabbit girl.

"So, Mad Hatter, or March Hare? Oh, who am I kidding? The Hare is probably over at Hatter's place… He always is, you know!"

Lovino really couldn't care less.

So without even saying anything, he was dragged down one of the paths, stuttering his protests the whole way. After a while, he quieted down a bit, thinking instead. The blonde guy had mentioned two places the paths could've lead to, but what about the third one?

He voiced his question, forgetting momentarily what an annoying person he was with.

The smile faded, along with part of the blonde's left arm. What the…? "That leads down to the Queen of Heart's place. We… usually avoid her." The grin was once again rekindled. "Anyway, we're almost there!"

As the minutes passed, the mention of some Queen completely vanished from Lovino's mind. It was replaced by the image of the odd scene before him.

There was a two-story shop, in the shape of a ridiculous green top hat. The ceiling looked as if it was sagging from years of weather and mistreatment. The front glass doors were half-open, with a 'Closed' sign on them. In front of the store was a long table, covered in tea cups and tiny china saucers, some clean and others not, the occasional sugar container and teapot in between the stacked-up piles. The faded white tablecloth was coming off the table at one corner, covering up half of a fallen chair. The people seated at the table, however, completed the scene.

There was a very pale man at one end, with very white hair and very red eyes, biting on end of a scone dripping some kind of orange jam. He had long, light brown rabbit ears sprouting from his snowy hair, and a cotton-ball tail peeping out from the folds of his long, white buttoned undershirt. He wore a loosened red bowtie over a black vest and black knee-length, baggy shorts. His white and blue boots reached where his shorts left off and left no part of his legs uncovered. His white gloves were tight around his hands, which currently gripped a cracked tea cup, barely filled with sweet-smelling tea.

At the other end, in a high-legged chair, there was a man only a few inches tall with large, darkly-coloured mouse ears to match the colour of his slightly curly hair, and a long tail, sleeping soundly on an emptied cookie platter. He mumbled something about 'cats...' in his sleep and smiled, not something anyone would expect a mouse to do. His simple cotton shirt and miniature brown boots made Lovino think of a farm-boy version of Thumbelina.

But the most captivating person sat in the middle of it all… literally. He sat on the table, in the midst of all the dishes and steam coming from the teapots, smiling and holding a sugar cube delicately, simply observing the still-life chaos surrounding him. His face looked too at peace, like he had spent his whole life smiling, but had just recently found his reason. His coffee-coloured hair was covered by a tilted black hat that matched his unbuttoned suit, over an untucked, light brown collared shirt. His grey slacks were loosely tucked into boots that matched his shirt, and a thin silver chain was looped around one of his ankles. He glanced up at the company, and Lovino noticed how green his eyes were. Just like the hat shop behind him.

"Welcome, welcome! You're just in time for tea!" the man said, hopping up from his perch on the table. "I'm sorry, Heracles has fallen asleep again… Heracles, wake up, you snoring dormouse!"

Lovino felt the need to be 'so done'.

"Hello, Tony!" the cat guy at Lovino's side said happily, stylishly strutting up to the brunette on the table. He hugged him, kissing his cheek, then sharing a laugh with him about who-knows-what.

Lovino sighed, rolling his eyes, and wanting to turn around right then and there.

Tony (which, apparently, was his name) turned as he heard Lovino sigh.

"Hello there! I'm Antonio, who're you?" His smile was almost contagious. Almost.

"Why should I tell you?" he muttered, glaring his best.

Antonio laughed and turned to look at the cat-man. "Cheshire, what's his name?"

"Lovino!" Cheshire answered, grinning widely. The smile took up half his face, and it looked ridiculous, Lovino thought. Wait, how'd he even know his name?

"Ah, Lovi! Welcome! Would you like to stay for tea?" His green eyes were sparkling in anticipation for the answer to his invitation.

"... not really…" he growled under his breath, then added, louder, "Fine."

The rabbit guy at the end of the table laughed harshly. "Hey, a newcomer! Guten tag!" He waved, the scone still in his hand, getting jam on his sleeve. Cursing, he stood and poured some hot water on it from one of the teapots. Antonio laughed again, a ringing sound that seemed to fill the clearing with its joy.

Lovino didn't like it.

**A/N: Hey guys! So, another chapter! Finally! The last one was sooo short, I'm actually kind of embarrassed about it... Anyway, you meet Parallel France/Cheshire Cat in this chapter! Yes, it is Francey-pants, and not Sealand *cough you know who you are cough*, but I hope it's still acceptable! Thank you for reading, and have a nice day!**


	5. Chapter 5

"So, Lovi, from whence do you come?" Tony was asking, while Lovino tried to avoid tea spills on the seat at the table he was appointed. He looked up at the hatter, his green eyes flashing annoyance.

"Don't call me Lovi, it's Lovino. Was that sentence even using correct grammar and structure? What kind of messed up language was that? Don't talk to me. You're so annoying. Stop grinning."

Tony laughed. "Okay, sure thing, Lovi," he said, grinning even wider, "and my name's Antonio!"

"Go die, Antonio." Lovi mumbled, staring down at the cracked white cup in front of him, only a few drops of green tea gracing the bottom. Antonio hadn't seemed to hear him, and continued an instantaneous conversation between him and the white-haired rabbit.

Suddenly remembering Lovino, he turned and poked the Italian on the forehead from across the table. "Lovi! This is Gilbert, the mouse is Heracle, and the cat is Cheshire. Or Francis, but everyone just calls him Cheshire. Oh, and stop telling people to die. That is wholly uncivilized, and you should be ashamed of yourself."

So he had heard him.

"Why do you care about me? I'm leaving." Lovino stood and cracked his back, turning to leave.

"No, no, don't leave! We've only just met!" Antonio laughed, and the rabbit dude joined in, his red eyes sparkling. Creepy.

"Whatever." he walked to the other side of the table and looked over to the large bushes on the other side of the hat building. "What's over there?"

The smile immediately left Antonio's face. "Oh, Lovi, I don't think it's a good idea-"

Too late, he had already started walking. He only turned back once, to ask if the white-haired rabbit guy had any string. After tying up his red boxers, he continued his journey into the greenery.

Leaving behind those freaks and being surrounded by silence once more felt good. The grass wasn't plastic and the bushes were as tall as trees normally were, so blocked out the bright sun. It was peaceful.

Until he heard hurried footsteps behind him. He turned and found himself glaring at the hatter he thought he had finally gotten rid of. "What do you want?"

"Well, Cheshire and I talked it over and we decided you shouldn't be coming in here alone. These woods are very dangerous, you know."

"No, I don't know. Stop bothering me, I'm just trying to find a way home."

"Well, you're not going to find one in here. And we can't go back because once you've entered these woods, you can't get out until you reach the designated exit. Rules."

Lovino rolled his eyes. Fine, okay, whatever. He'll play along and not leave until they 'reached the designated exit'. They walked in silence for quite a while, but the scenery never changed. They were walking straight, but Lovino could've sworn they had passed that bush with the crooked branch and missing leaves several times. He glanced over at his companion, who was messing idly with his own curled hair.

"Oh dear, the scenery is being stubborn."

"What?" Lovino wondered if this was normal.

The other turned to face him, with worry in his dark green eyes and forced smile. "It won't change until Dee and Dum show up."

The way he said it sounded very ominous. Should Lovino be worried? Probably. Except he wasn't.

As if the names had summoned them, two figures appeared before them from above, tall and blonde, both dressed in ridiculous red outfits and glasses.

Lovino and Antonio came to an abrupt halt, the Italian boy almost tripping over a stray twig. The two men in front of him stood stock still, arms around each other and showing off almost blinding white smiles.

"What the fuck?" he finally said, trying to keep the waver of fear he felt out of his voice, placing his hands on his hip.

No answer for a few seconds, until the one on the left, with shorter hair and blue eyes, jumped and laughed. "You know, if you thought we were wax statues, you should have to pay for looking at us."

"Contrary wise," the other said, his wavy hair blowing against his purple eyes as he stepped forward, "if you knew we were not wax statues, you really should introduce yourselves."

Antonio laughed nervously. "Oh, we're Antonio and Lovino. Just passing through."

The blue eyed one smirked. "Hello, Antonio and Lovino. I'm Tweedle Dee, this here is Tweedle Dum. What's your purpose?"

Lovino thought he meant their purpose for passing through the forest. "I'm-" But Antonio raised a finger against his lips, telling him to stay quiet.

"I'm the hatter, and this is… my assistant. He also makes hats. He'll be the hatter when I die, you know."

Tweedle Dee nodded, looking to his brother with raised eyebrows. Tweedle Dum shrugged, then looked to the two brunettes. "I've never seen him before." he said curiously, pointing at Lovino. "Is he from here?"

"Of course!" Antonio laughed.

No he wasn't, and he didn't want to be, but he figured Tony knew what to do better than he did. "Yeah, I'm from… just across from Antonio's place."

He looked to Antonio, expecting approval, but instead was greeted by a look of horror. Tweedle Dee laughed. "Across from Antonio's place? There's no such thing!" The blonde reached into his back pocket and pulled out what looked like an old rattle. "Oh dear, do I have to call the Crow?"

Antonio shook his head. "No! It was a slip of the tongue! He meant he's from around my place! Outside of the barrier!"

Tweedle Dum shook his head and glanced at his brother's rattle. "I fear he seems far too suspicious. We'll have to call the Crow."

He turned to take the rattle, but Tweedle Dee pulled it away. "Wait a moment, Dum, where did this scratch come from?"

Tweedle Dum looked surprised. "What scratch, Dee?"

A pout was forming on the other blonde's face, an angry pout that looked like it would turn into a tantrum. "This one! It wasn't there before! You used my rattle!"

They began to argue, or more like Tweedle Dee yelled about his rattle while Tweedle Dum cowered away from him, grimacing. Their brotherly dynamic was interesting, Lovino thought, but couldn't dwell on it, since Antonio was pulling him away by his arm.

Once they were a safe distance, Tony let out a breath. "Now that we've talked to them, we can actually start moving. The exit should be a few yards along this way."

"Wait. What just happened?" Lovino asked, pulling away his arm from Tony's grasp. "Who were those two idiots?"

"They are the keepers of these woods, and they keep an eye out for outsiders, to report back to the Queen. Of course, they are prone to arguing, but if they end up calling the Crow and you're still there, you're never making it away alive."

Lovino nodded, but he was far from understanding. Wasn't the Queen mentioned earlier? And what was 'the Crow?' Not like he cared, though.

A sudden shiver ran down his spine, and he rubbed his arm unconsciously. It was getting cold. He hoped they would get out of these woods soon, because he was freezing in just his boxers, and ready to see sunshine again.


End file.
